After a long wait I have been given permission to re-publish the works of the great and mysterious ninja known as Galanor. His works are not for everyone but I enjoy them. I hope you enjoy them too!
So now what you’ve all been waiting for. The ultimate tale of ninjas. First, let me get this off my chest. Why do all of you guys attack my posts on other threads? Then the board moderator sends me an email to knock it off. I’m just expressing my enthusiasm for a wholly awesome character class that deserves more attention than some may rightfully give him. The ninja, of course. It’s a good thing I’m confident in my ninja skill or I’d get upset. I’ve mastered the ability to meditate long an hard before flipping out. And while my purpose as a ninja, still remains. I’m at whole other level of mastery that you cannot fathom.
Anyway, this story is for the fans. Those of you who dream to be ninjas. I’m here to tell you it can be done. I did it. I was only 10. Now you can to. First you need to role-play more than seek out a master. I found him and his name was Marvin. It took me weeks to get him to open up but he did. And I’m better for it. Man, I could go on and on about my skills but I won’t. So sit back an enjoy my tale.
OK, we were playing Dungeons and Dragons, the role-playing game. That’s a game where you get the chance to create characters with dice and use mathematical precision to recreate reality within the confines of a game. A lot of people claim you pretend to be someone else. But if you do it right, you get to live out your life as someone else. It’s liberating especially if you aren’t a ninja. So anyway, now that you get what a role-playing game is, I’ll tell you what we did.
We had three players and a Dungeon Master, that’s the guy who runs the game and tells you what to think and when. He’s like B.A. in the Knights. So Barry was playing a halfling paladin (Hal), Tad was playing a Half-ogre/half-dragon wizard (Saijin), and I was a Wemic ninja-barbarian named Wedgie. We were hired by a band of knights to save the kingdom from an invading force. We were three but we had cool stuff. The paladin had the holy armor of righteous vengeance. Saijin had a Staff of the Magi, and I had two powerful magical katanas. This was your typical D&D game. Lots of explosions, winged gorillas, and singing vampires. So we found the castle and I was sent in to scout it out.
Being the ninja, I hoped over some guards, took them out, and climbed up the walls covered in fish fat. I set the fat on fire and snuck up through the sewer grate by the moat. I jumped over some pits and got skewered by a spiked roof. But luckily I had potions of healing inside my katanas. So I was ok. The other guys were getting bored to Saijin shoots a fireball at the front gate and blew up the wall. Hal goes marching in and nothing could hurt him. This created enough of a distraction for me that I was allowed to move in the castle unnoticed. That was until I found the Fairy Lich drinking a goblet of mule bile. I easily beat his guards with my katanas. I tell him to surrender because I’m the greatest wemic ninja ever to have walked the realms. The fairy Lich laughed <at me> and ordered me to surrender. He said he had a place for me if I decided to serve him. We could gain power and rule the world. I told him I was an honorable ninja raised in the ways of of my clan to serve our original employers. I told him that if he had hired me first, I could have served him. But now it was to late.
I then jumped across the room and sliced my sword across his wings. I rolled a twenty twice. The wings flew up in the air and I slammed them into his throat. Since he was a Lich, he choked on his wings and exploded. Hal and Saijin finally made into the inner chamber. I told them I beat the fairy lich. They got mad because I fought him without them and they wouldn’t get the experience. As a result of the fight, I jumped up about 5 levels one swoop. They complained and screamed that it wasn’t fair and said I should have waited. I was an honorable ninja that didn’t take kindly to someone questioning my methods. So I took them both out. The lesson learned was don’t mess with the Wemic Ninja. I retired Wedgie after several games. He became the god of ninjas when I stopped playing.
If you want to learn more about wedgie, I’ll keep telling you stories. Just let me know.